Bikini Avengers online movie review - Where's the bikinis?
Yes, we all know that Skinemax (and/or the ilk on premium channels) videos have the appeal of a wet ashtray.
We all know the sex is fake, the boobs are fake 90% of the time ( usually with atrocious boob jobs- poor girls) they can't show aroused genitalia, any type of sex, sperm etc. Also off the table is a coherent story-line, acting skills, large cast of players to pool from, original music, etc etc. So I set the DVR to record this and watched a few days later and of course its right-off-the-bat into the fake sex-scene without any explanation, then some pointless dialogue that went absolutely nowhere, and then we have two scenes back-to-back of our lead protagonists who are the bikini avengers ( not sure what they are avenging) who seem to spend their time in regular street clothes or spandex unitards and capes, they have a big expensive "bat cave" then depart in the bikini mobile- a Honda. Then its another abrupt sex- scene with the same girl in the 1st but this time its lesbian action with music I swear they lifted from the weather channel. Then its another Avenger scene, alas, still no bikinis another fake sex scene this time with an actress who fakes a Russian accent, back to the avengers bat cave, still no bikinis, fake breasts sex scene with more weather channel music, blah blah blah, back & forth, no bikinis ever. The thing is they changed the title of the move from Bikini Avengers to Bikini Super Heroes, which was an excellent time to change it to Spandex Super Heroes or really what it is : Spandex Boredom Bandits.