Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse online movie review - It's Not Zombieland
**SPOILER FREE** "Scouts Guide To the Zombie Apocalypse" sounds like another Zombieland-style tongue-in-cheek checklist but contrary to what the name would have you assume, it's not a guide.
Rather Scouts Guide is the more arbitrary zombie flick about a ragtag group of survivors lucking their way through the apocalypse. There are a few scenes that solidify the silly atmosphere of the film. At no point does this movie try to take itself seriously and that's important to know going into it. Prepare to have some laughs as well as roll your eyes with a lackluster groan.
What's new that Scouts Guide introduces to the already vast world of zombie flicks is simply that our main protagonists are boy-scouts, who have a lot of handy knowledge of most things survival. Most often within the frame of a zombie film, you see your main characters being average Joes with no extraordinary skills or talents or even intelligence. But to be honest, the accumulated knowledge and skills used by these scouts doesn't really surpass the average Joe in the same environment; they could've pushed the fact that they're are scouts further. There are many obligatory genre staples such as the whole 'This perfectly adept weapon is only good for one attack' logic as well as the whole 'we're in the middle of the apocalypse but now seems like a good time to have a talk about where this relationship is headed' flaw.
The humor of this movie is about what you'd expect from watching the trailers; it's stupid silly humor.
**SPOILER-FREE CONCLUSION** All in all, it's another comedy-horror zombie apocalypse film that offers little to no new content to the genre. However, it's charming enough to be entertaining throughout and but uninspired and flawed enough to acceptably skip. If you're like me and you get a kick out of bad movies, it's worth a watch just to see yet another entertaining take on zombies. If you're the sort of person who likes good movies, skip this one because you will definitely not like it.
**ALL SPOILERS** So between the zombie cats, the zombie penis and the Brittney Spears singing zombie, you simply don't earn the right to judge the logic of this movie too harshly. And yet I still found myself feeling disappointing at some more key parts of the story.
For instance the very first scene. I think it was a great way to start the film with the ridiculous janitor singing and being flamboyant as that sets the honest pace for the entire film. But he single-handed- Ly starts the outbreak because this facility happened to have what we can only assume is probably the first zombie ever. And where do they keep the zombie? In a freely ventilated large open room not even fastened to the gurney. And the researcher sees the janitor, knows full well that he's an incompetent buffoon and yet still leaves him alone. That researcher basically gave the janitor his blessing to start the apocalypse. It was a really sloppy setup.
The other huge letdown in the movie is towards the end the military man's intercom relays the message that the entire town will be nuked in two hours. As soon as that bit of information is introduced, the tone of the film changes and now there's a much more dooming threat on top of the zombies. We were promised a town being nuked and instead we got a homemade bomb in a gymnasium. And no one mentions whether or not the nuke got called off or what the eventual fate of the town was.
The main characters of the story were Ben (our main the typical grounded courageous noble one), Carter (our secondary staple comic-relief silly dumb one), Augie (the standard awkward occasionally impressive but also fat and liable one) and Denise (the obligatory pair of boobs). The characters are almost insultingly uninspired and every action and piece of dialogue is exactly what you'd expect from them. Denise almost immediately loses here usefulness once the shotgun gets jammed, after which she assumes the role of "character enhancer" for the main protagonist- her behavior is used to further character development for Ben. The only two real things Denise did in the film was save Ben and Carter in the strip club, then mouth-banged Ben into giving him the confidence to mouth-bang the other blonde skinny light-skinned pair of breasts.
There's the deeply cliché "suiting-up" scene towards the end when the scouts build up their arsenal. Felt off- put that these scouts wouldn't have the common sense to wield back up non-mechanized weapons instead of putting their lives in the hands of banking on their contraptions to not run out of ammo or power. Augie made a devastating homemade bomb and no one was going to ask him how he knew? Pretty sure there isn't a Arsonist's Cookbook scout badge.
My final big logic complaint was how they got out of the gymnasium with the bomb at the end. One of the girls pops up out of no where to show them the exit which happened to be a garbage shoot. So... how did that girl climb all the way up that freaking garbage shoot let alone know that they were there?? It was a huge unexplained flaw that we were expected to overlook.
**CONCLUSION** All in all, there was so much that didn't make sense in the film coupled with a tedious story and even more tedious characters, the truth is, almost all the best parts of the movie you already saw in the trailers. If you don't like bad movies, skip this one for sure. If you do like bad movies, enjoy some hilarious acting by David Koechner, some horrid 2015 dance music and that one pretty great scene with zombie boobs.