Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre online movie review - Crap on a cracker...
This was stupid, even for shark movies! Yes, that might be a bold statement, but watch the movie and you will see for yourself.
First of all, I will say that the movie does gain some credit for having a creative movie title. I mean "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" just sounds like something that could be fun.
But it quickly becomes apparent that this is going to be one of those movies; you know, a stinker. When the prison truck comes to a halt and you see the female prisoners disembark and they are all wearing jean shorts and tight tops. Right, what prison provides its inmates with such outfits? And that kind of clothing hardly seems appropriate for going on a clearing duty in a swamp area.
Then the movie quickly rolls downhill fast, especially when you see the sharks and how poorly animated they are. And when the sharks start to swim through solid soil and earth, it just culminates in a hitherto unseen level of stupidity.
And the weapons that were used in the movie was children toys. Yes, children toys. There is a scene where the Michelle Alika character finds a hidden stash of guns in the cabin, and when she picks them up you can clearly hear that they are just plastic toys as they clank together. And in that very same scene you can see that the end nozzles of the guns are closed tight with plastic. It was just idiotic that the film makers though they could pass children's toys off as real guns.
For a shark movie, or a creature feature, then special effects and having believable creatures is a must. And "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" didn't manage to deliver any of this. The special effects were laughable and questionable, and the shark even more so.
This is essentially a movie just to showcase the female cast of the movie, that being in particular Dominique Swain, Christine Nguyen and Cindy Lucas. But wait, it gets better, because Traci Lords is here too as a detective. Yep!
I sat down to watch "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" because of Dominique Swain, but must admit that this was nowhere near her finest moment. And it was actually Christine Nguyen who ended up carrying the movie with her performance.
"Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" is a laughable attempt at making a shark movie. And if you enjoy shark movies, then there are far, far better choices available out there.